Monster Within
by Genofuhrer
Summary: Raven has survived from the batte with Van and his Blade Liger. This takes place right after Raven is defeated by Van. From his POV. Overlaps into the episode in GF where Raven first appears. R&R.


A/N: Okay, had a sudden urge to write angst. I had to get it off my chest, so here's a random story I cooked up about Raven! From his POV. Oh yeah, and this takes place right after Raven is defeated by Van.  
  
I lay helplessly on my side. I was trapped beneath the broken panels and systems that were in my cockpit. Shifting a little, I was able to get my body in the right position so I could move the large board of metal off my chest. But as I placed my hands on the cold, yet hot metal, a sharp pain shot through my hands.  
  
"Ah!" I yelled in spite of myself.  
  
I withdrew my hands from the boards and looked down at them. They were sliced and bleeding. These marks would never disappear. I would carry these scars on my hands until the day I died. Somehow, I managed to escape from the burning corpse that used to be my - my... What was it? I couldn't think. Who had done this to me? There was a flash in my mind, and I saw a blue Liger-type Zoid, its blade pointed at me. The memory was painful. I clutched my head, and screamed. Who was it? Who did this to me? Why was I here? Who was I?  
  
Agonizing memories swarmed through my head as I tried to figure out who I was. I truly didn't know. The last thing my mind recalled was a blue Liger- type Zoid. I saw the explosion that followed the memory. It was strange. It was like I wasn't really in the explosion. Like I was just a spectator. Close enough to feel the heat, but not the pain. I leaned over and threw up. After wiping my mouth on my arm, for my sleeve had been ripped off, I tried to stand up. My legs wouldn't comprehend. Finally, I was able to stand, though I still hadn't figured out who I was, or why I was here. Why had that blue Liger-type Zoid try to kill me? Had I done something wrong?  
  
Suddenly, I felt an immense amount of rage billow up from inside of me. That pilot, whoever he was, had tried to kill ME. I didn't care if I had done something wrong. I didn't even know who I was. But he had tried to kill me, and for that he was going to pay. As I limped on through the coolness of the desert night, I felt as if something was missing. Instinctively, I looked beside me. Nothing. Then, I felt another being's presence. I looked up. A dark shape soared through the sky, barely visible in the light of the two crescent moons. Satisfied that I had found out something about myself, I began to plot my revenge.  
  
But something stopped me. If I didn't know who I was, how would I know what I was capable of? For many long months, I roamed the desert, not knowing who I was, and trying to figure out what I was to do. The only reason I survived was because of the dark shape in the sky that led me to food, water, and shelter. I would have been thankful, if I had felt emotions. But the harsh barren land had hardened me, inside and out. I no longer pondered who I was. I no longer cared. I just walked wherever my feet led me. Yet, the fury still burned brightly within me. There was a strange aggression bubbling up inside of me, ready to lash out at anything. But I was able to keep it at bay, for the moment at least.  
  
Then I stumbled across a forest of cubic shapes. A base of some sort. Subconsciously, I walked toward it. The dark shape, that my vague memories said to be an organoid, followed me in the sky. I felt his blank stare rip through me like an arrow tipped with poison. Mechanical beasts walked around the base, looking as if they were patrolling the area. I walked toward the base. A few minutes later, I walked out; a fire was blazing behind me, and destroyed Zoids littered the area. My mind told me this was what I was supposed to do. Instinctively, I turned and started walking. I came across many bases, and I destroyed them all as I had done the first base.  
  
I came across another base. There was a Zoid walking around inside. Immediately, my mind started to analyze. The Zoids was a Godos, so this had to be a Helic Republic base. But I didn't care. The black organoid landed in front of me. With its ice blue eyes, it looked at me. The eyes showed no emotions. Neither did mine. I walked passed the black shape. I felt a gust of wind as a pair of black wings lifted off into the sky. I kept walking.  
  
"Hey you! Kid! This ain't no playground! Get out of here! Run back to your mommy and daddy!" one of the Zoid pilots taunted me as I walked into the base.  
  
I didn't stop. This annoying rambling meant nothing to me.  
  
"Hey kid! Didja hear me? I said get outta here!"  
  
Again, the words meant nothing. I found a Zoid hangar.  
  
"This is a restricted area kid. You can't be in here. You're trespassing!"  
  
The pilots kept ranting on and on, but I was not distracted. I wasn't until the Zoid stepped in front of me.  
  
"Kid. Get out of this base. This is classified information that we don't want the world to know. Especially disobedient little twerps like you."  
  
I slowly turned and stared at the cockpit, with my lifeless, emotionless eyes. The cockpit opened.  
  
"I said, get out of here kid! Go! Shoo!" the man said, and made sort of a flicking motion with his hands.  
  
I saw the black shape way before it was going to strike. But I gave away nothing. I watched the annoying man fall to the ground, most likely dead. At least I wouldn't hear his irritating voice ever again. I climbed into the cockpit of the Zoid, and wrapped my hands around the unfamiliar controls. Unfamiliar, yet when I felt the metal in my hands, I instantly knew what to do. My hands tightly gripped the controls, and then I felt the adrenaline rush through my veins. This was what I was made to do.  
  
I pulled on the controls, and the Godos spun around. I faced the Zoid hangar. I fired a barrage of cannon shots toward the buildings. Loud sirens started going off. More Zoids arrived. Gunsnipers, my mind told me. I faced them and took them all out. There was no one left to oppose me. The Godos suddenly malfunctioned. I step out of the cockpit, and walk out of the ruined base, leaving everything in flames.  
  
After a walking a few miles, I saw something moving. A Zoid. But this Zoid would be no use for destroying. It stopped near me. A man was in the cockpit and he offered me a ride. I nodded weakly and got inside the cockpit. The man offered me a drink, and started talking. But the words meant nothing. The friendly speech did not go into my ears. In my mind I only saw pain and destruction. As the man kept talking, the voice lures me into a restless sleep. I dreamt of the blue Zoid.  
  
Over and over, I saw the liger leap toward me, it's blade pointed at me. The blinding light, the heat. I finally awoke. The man was setting up a small camp and making food. But I couldn't eat. My mind was still on the battle. The memory replayed itself in my mind over and over. I saw the liger, the blade, and the explosion. Again, the liger, the blade, the explosion. It was as if someone kept rewinding a tape inside my mind and playing it again. I couldn't stop it, and it was agonizing. But my face stayed emotionless.  
  
The man offered me a cup of coffee. I took it, not feeling the heat. It was as if my mind no longer realized pain when it came. I drank the hot liquid in one gulp. The man stared at me, disbelieving. He suddenly looked frightened, and started talking again. I looked to where he was looking, and saw the black organoid. Then, I heard the sound of a flying Zoid. The black shape attacked the Relder as it flew near, and I watched impassively as it crashed. I walked passed the old man, who had a terrified look on his face, toward the crash site of the Zoid. My mind started working as I looked at the downed Zoid. Then I felt my lips slowly curl into a smile. A memory came back to me. The pilot of the blade liger was Van. He is the enemy. I must destroy him.  
  
The black organoid fused with the Relder, replenishing it. I climbed idly into the Zoid. I must get my revenge.  
  
Van, there is no words that can describe my hate toward you. Look what you've done to me, Van. I had nothing much as it was, unlike you. You have a sister that loves you, faithful friends, and everything else a boy or man could ever want. Me? All I had was pride. But you took even that away from me. You couldn't leave anything in me could you? I hate you! People used to shudder at the mere mention of my name, but now look at me. I am nothing more than a faded memory. It's all because of you, Van. Your name echoes endlessly through my mind, and I will not rest until you know the hate I feel toward you. But you have left me with one thing, Van. Yes, even you couldn't strip this away from me. I still have my skill as a pilot. I may be an empty shell that houses nothing more than hate, but I will always have my skill. This one thing that you have left me with will be your downfall.  
  
(Tense change)  
  
I now stand atop a cliff. The Relder is flying toward the base. There are Zoids firing at it, and then I see it. The blue Blade Liger from the memories. More agonizing visions flash through my mind, but I disregard them. That is of the past. This is now. The Blade Liger and the Dibison next to it suddenly realize that the Relder is only a decoy, and it crashes. My eyes meet Van's, and I know it's time. I get into the cockpit of the Dark Horn, and charge. I knock the Dibison out of the way. He is not the one I want.  
  
It is you I want Van. You are the enemy. I must destroy you.  
  
Iron Kongs come to help the Van and the Dibison, but I destroy them before they can do any damage. This fight is between Van and me. I charge again, but the Dibison gets up. The two Zoids attack me, and soon I realize that they are targeting the Dark Horn's leg. The Zoid stumbles over as the leg caves underneath the weight. The other Zoids seem to rejoice, but I won't let them off that easily. I jettison the gattling on the back of the Dark Horn, and grab it with the Zoid's mouth. I fire rapidly, but I do not land a hit. Soon, I run out of ammo. There is nothing more I can do.  
  
My revenge plan has failed. But I will get you soon Van. We will meet again very soon, and when we do, we'll duel one on one. For now though, we shall wait.  
  
I step slowly out of the cockpit, and I can see Van through the orange glass of his Zoid. The very Zoid that had almost killed me. Rage boils within me, and I can no longer contain it.  
  
I hate you Van! I hate you! One day you will pay for what you have done to me with your life.  
  
"SHADOW!!!" I yell at the top of my lungs.  
  
My organoid swoops down, and fuses with me. We take off into the sky, away from the one who's goal is to destroy me. Away from everything that brings bad memories. But I will return. I must. My only purpose is to destroy the one who has destroyed me. And I will, when the time comes.  
  
A/N: Okay, that's it. Hope you like it! My first attempt at a story only about Raven and had to do somewhat with the GF storyline, so tell me what you think. Flames only allowed from a super-heated plasma fire breath of a Geno Breaker, so keep 'em to yourself!! 


End file.
